Productivity tips: Ideas for people too many things to do
After my son turned eight, he started dropping hints that he didn't believe in the Tooth Fairy anymore. This suspicion was likely confirmed when the (very busy, somewhat disorganized) Tooth Fairy forgot to leave money under his pillow not one, or two, but three nights in a row.
I was determined not to spill the beans prematurely, though, as my sister is still mad at me for bursting her Santa bubble thirty-five years ago. Finally, my son turned to me, looked me in the eye and asked, "Who really is the Tooth Fairy?" I thought, okay, he's ready. I answered, "Me. I'm the Tooth Fairy." He took this in for a long moment and then looked at me, wide-eyed, "For everyone?!"
My first thought: "He's not ready! I screwed this up!"
My second thought: "Is there no end to what I'm expected to do around here?"
Much of what's written on productivity is aimed at go-getters laser-focused on accomplishment in one area of their lives, usually work. These people must have a team of fairies to deal with the more mundane tasks that consistently trip me up, like returning phone calls, getting dinner on the table before mutiny breaks out, and leaving money under pillows in the middle of the night. For those of us who are both the go-getters and the (local) Tooth Fairy, here are some tips:
TIP #1 – Try not to over-focus on how busy you are.
During a rough period a few years ago, when my husband and I had both truly bit off more than we could chew, we used to greet each other at the end of the day by dumping on each other how truly, frantically busy we are. It would quickly devolve into a game of one-upmanship about whose life was more stressful. I can assure you that these conversations did little to relieve stress and even less to strengthen our marriage. When we made a pact to stop doing that, we were able to focus on the fact that we were both doing cool things that we were excited about, and that made for much better dinner conversations.
TIP #2 Make choices and love them
Cut out the things you don't care about. In her book Drop the Ball, Tiffany Dufu writes about axing all the non-essential parent-related time sucks that don't matter to her kids. Watching them play soccer matters very much. Being president of the PTA, not so much. This isn't to say that it isn't meaningful to volunteer or be involved with your kid's school, but we have to pick our spots.
Maybe you don't accept the job promotion that will require traveling two weeks out of the month. Or maybe you say yes to volunteer requests at church, or you get a dog. Do these things because you want to do them, and they feel like a gift, not a burden. These are hard choices, often at odds with what other people—important people—want you to do. Over-booking, as if time is endlessly elastic, is still my biggest time management problem. It's no coincidence the most productive person I know has a post-it note with "NO!" written with a Sharpie stuck to his phone.
TIP #3 Systems and automaticity
The benefits of creating systems to simplify your life cannot be overstated. Almost anything that doesn't require too much brainpower can be made into a system. Think of Steve Jobs and his endless black turtlenecks, or eating the same things for breakfast every day. The idea is to cut down on the millions of tiny decisions we make every day that drain our willpower and energy.
Any problem that consistently knocks you off your game, such as paying bills, eating healthfully, or staying in contact with loved ones? All of these issues can be managed with systems. I live in New York City, and recently came up with a system to respond to people asking me for change on the subway (this typically happens 5+ times a day). It has made my commute a lot less stressful because now I have a system.
TIP #4 Ignore the "right way" and find your way
Night owls who try to keep early bird hours are likely to end up discouraged and exhausted. If you're someone who's inspired to create great things (or even mundane things) in the middle of the night, go ahead and do that. Just try to arrange your mornings so you can sleep in. Ignore the headlines touting all the change-makers who go to bed and 8 pm and wake up at 4 am. We can't all fit into so-called "optimal" habits. Some of us might be outliers. For example, nearly every piece of writing advice suggests that writers need big blocks of open time and solitude to write. It seems logical, but I know a successful businesswoman who hasn't seen a free block of time since the '90s, and who essentially wrote an entire book pecking away on her cell phone while waiting for appointments or airplanes. Conventional, no. But she did it. Work with your essential nature instead of trying to override it.
There’s a limit to how much we, and others, can expect of us. One troublesome aspect of modern life is that while technology makes so many tasks more manageable, expectations about what we can or should achieve keep ramping up. In the worst instances, these expectations can drain our lives of spontaneity and joy. You are not a machine. I hope the above tips create more time for serendipity, laughter, sleep, and pleasure.