Staying Sane Inside Insanity: Managing Anxiety during a Pandemic
Few things activate anxiety more than uncertainty. And there's little more uncertain than a pandemic. The questions keep coming:
Will I get sick? How long are we expected to do this "social distancing" thing? If we're only supposed to avoid gatherings with more than ten people, why can't I arrange a play date for my kids? Then there's worries about getting sick yourself, concerns for those most at risk, and auxiliary concerns about the economy collapsing, work disappearing, or this virus leading to changes in society that are scary and confusing.
Here in New York City, schools have been shut down until at least April 20, and possibly for the rest of the school year. Last Monday evening, with my family of four trying to live semi-normal lives in our suddenly very tightly packed apartment, I thought, "Well, this isn't so bad." Then I remembered that it was only day one of what could be the new normal for months.
Since nothing relieves anxiety better than a plan, here are some ideas I have that I hope will make the coming months more manageable for us all.
1. TURN OFF THE NEWS
During the best of times, the news can feel like a fire-hose of fear and doomsday predictions. In a crisis, it may feel imperative to your health and well-being to be on top of every new development in real-time. I don't think that's true. Unless it's your job, you probably don't need to watch every press conference or breaking news story. Instead, maybe just read the highlights at an appointed news-reading time. If you're already doing the basics, such as social distancing, washing your hands for at least 20 seconds, and trying not to touch your face, the news may not be giving you urgent, actionable information. Try to limit your news intake to once or twice a day, and to one or two reliable news sources. It won't help anything, least of all your anxiety, to be hitting the refresh button on twitter for the next three months.
2. FIND A PROJECT
According to positive psychologist and author of The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want, Sonja Lyubomirsky, "Find a happy person, and you will find a project." While "happy" might be a bridge too far during a crisis, a productive distraction could provide a sorely needed sense of control and optimism. There's no question that the next few months are going to be stressful, but if you're going to be cooped up at home anyway, and you aren't sick, this might be the time to organize your closets (finally!), re-read the Harry Potter series, or learn something new.
3. CREATE A SCHEDULE
Most of us operate much better with a structured day. Not having access to the regular touchstones of our lives, such as going to the office, the gym, or the coffee shop, can leave us feeling untethered and listless. It's best to impose some structure on yourself. Everything you usually do to manage your anxiety, including getting enough sleep, meditating, exercise, getting some fresh air, and keeping up with social interaction (over the phone or online), still needs to have a place on your schedule.
You don't need to be rigid, and it doesn't have to look the same every day. Think about how you'll wish you'd spent this time once its all over, and work backward from there.
4. LEND A HAND
Thinking about how you might make this ordeal easier for others is a great way to be proactive and feel positive about yourself and humanity in general. Just looking for ways to help can start to direct your mind toward solutions, which is a reliable mood-booster. Some ideas:
- Take a neighbor's dog along on your daily walk
- Pick up medications and groceries for the elderly
- Buy a gift certificate from a beloved restaurant or other venues to provide them with much-needed cash during the shut-down
- Donate money to food pantries
- Offer to tutor your nephew via Skype
5. FIND THE SILVER LININGS, NO MATTER HOW TINY, AND ENJOY THEM.
One of my dearest friends lives in Germany, and it can take us months to set up a phone call. But now, we are both almost always available and ready to chat. A local yoga teacher is offering Chi Gong (participants stand at least 6ft from each other) in a nearby park, allowing people an opportunity for fresh air, exercise, and safe neighborly connection. And although forced family time will no doubt have us pulling out our hair before this ends, playing board games with my teenager, who is usually out with friends or holed up in his room, has been lovely.
If at all possible, take advantage of this time to connect to the people you live with on a deeper level and, especially if you live alone, prioritize social connection via technology. Many interactions can be accommodated online until we're able to see our people in person.
I know this is scary. The above suggestions are in no way meant to minimize or disregard the severity and destabilizing consequences of a highly unusual situation. But we aren't going to get through this any faster or easier by ruminating or shutting out the people and activities that could make this better. As with every situation, there are two sides of the ledger: the list of things we can control, and the list of the things outside of our influence. In anxious times, it always makes sense to focus as much as possible on what's in our control. We can do this.